The United States said its farewells to North and South Carolina today, after President Trump announced that federal disaster aid to the states following hurricane damage would be ‘as successful as it was in Puerto…
The Islamic Republic of Iran announced its determination to possess nuclear weapons today, though insisted it was for purely peaceful purposes. “We need them to defend ourselves from these wicked sandstorms! They are the devil!!!”…
As it waits to be battered by hurricane Barry, the State of Louisiana has let President Trump know it is well stocked with paper products to mop up the damage. “It’s a nice thought if…
The Almighty today denied his hand is behind rain and thunderstorms predicted for the Washington DC area on July 4th. “It’s summer – storms happen.” He admits he received a ‘whole lot of prayers’ asking…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif — Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) announces the beta release of its latest product offering, Google Climate. In addition to providing up to date weather information integrated with google maps and google earth,…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Meteorologists are warning that a heavy precipitation system threatening Pittsburgh is going to be more serious that expected, and they have consequently revised their forecast. “We are upgrading this system to Buy all…
(Pittsburgh PA) A local man who is opposed to clean energy and has steadfastly maintained the idea of wind farms is ‘plain stupid’ was tragically blown off the porch of his Bellevue home this evening…
With temperatures almost in the sixties just days after the City was literally frozen shut, the Pittsburgh Weather has finally agreed it needs help. “Clearly I am not well.” Following an examination by qualified medical…
President Trump said he felt for the millions of Americans suffering from the extreme cold temperatures caused by the Polar Vortex, and wanted to help out by offering them some useful advise. “Simply relocate to…
(Washington, DC) As the polar vortex causes temperatures to plunge, residents of Washington DC are seeking hot air anyway they can, with thousands of them gathering around President Trump. “Keep talking Mister President.” Happy to…
President Trump is engaging in urgent consultations, including with Democrats, about the very real possibility of a comprehensive border wall after the general population has suddenly come out massively in favor of funding one. There…
The arctic chill is coming and it’s as real as store-bought pierogies are bad. Make sure you’re prepared by following Breaking Burgh’s top tips for surviving a polar vortex. Don’t buy milk, bread or toilet…
With temperatures set to plunge dramatically midweek, local forecasters are issuing their recommendations for how to deal with the seriously cold weather. “Leave Pittsburgh right now or prepare for death.” Even the President didn’t escape…
As temperatures plunge again with more precipitation on the way, City Government has finally taken the step that many have been urging for years. “The resolution to ban snow within City Limits is adopted.” The…
As Pittburghers hold vigils and say goodbye to loved ones, Mayor Peduto has said there will be serious consequences if the current predicted snowfall turns out to be a false alarm. “I have ordered that…
(Belleau Wood, France, 11th November 2018) All was solemn in the Republic of France today as gentle rainfall everywhere marked the six hour anniversary of the victory over President Trump earlier in the day. “This…
The United Nations is facing criticism today for releasing a report that warns of catastrophic changes within a generation without considering the implications for users of the phrase “It’s not the end of the world”….
The National Weather Service has issued a warning that the same formation that struck the nation with such ferocity last Thursday will probably strike again later this week. “Do not underestimate the belligerence of this…
Whereas scientists and meteorologists have long warned people of the risk of getting wet during hurricanes and floods, they never before specified the liquid responsible. “Because we didn’t know.” But all that has changed now…
(Wilmington, NC) As if the damage caused by Hurricane Florence wasn’t bad enough, North Carolina was subjected to more misery today as what is being described by meteorologists as a very unpleasant and dangerous formation…
