Firefighters in New York City are currently battling a fire at Trump Tower, though the President is not in residence and the building is not being evacuated. Investigators at the scene say they believe they know what happened.

“Technically the cause is probably some faulty wiring near combustible material, though clearly this blaze is not just a simple accident but represents so much more. Therefore we’re looking as metaphor as the primary cause.”

As evidence of the fire’s strong metaphorical origin, investigators are focusing on the specific location where it occurred.

“The problem is with the roof of the building – i.e. at the top. This fire is trying to tell us there is something terribly wrong at the top.”

Firefighters say they got there early enough to contain the blaze, at least in the strictly logical sense of the phrase.

“Trump Tower is not about to go up in flames, but everything else is.”