CDC Pauses Distribution Of Firearms Over Possible Link To Deaths

Following its pause in the distribution of the J&J COVID vaccine over concerns it had lead to a small number of blood clots, the CDC has now paused the distribution of firearms after uncovering worrying data over the past few days.

“We have identified nearly 20,000 deaths in 2020 alone that we suspect may be causally related to firearms.”

Evidence suggesting their thesis is correct include the proximity of firearms to the deaths in many cases, and that fact that the deceased all had bullet holes in them.

“We don’t want to rush to any conclusions, but it certainly appears like the widespread distribution of firearms has something to do with it.”

Also supporting this are data from other countries where the distribution of firearms is much more strictly regulated.

“They just don’t seem to have the same large numbers of their population dying from high-speed projectiles made of lead. It could just be a coincidence but it’s certainly worth taking this brief pause to look into.”

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