CDC Praises Slipknot’s Preparedness For Possible Coronavirus Pandemic

(Atlanta, GA) The CDC today singled out the band Slipknot for its preparedness given the potential for the coronavirus becoming a worldwide pandemic.

“These sensible heavy metal musicians have adopted protective measures against the spread of the coronavirus well in advance.”

They point to the Iowa band’s wearing of robust coveralls and their consistent use of masks as examples of how to reduce viral transmission.

“Though we don’t know their personal hygiene habits we imagine that they thoroughly wash their hands with soap and warm water on a regular basis.”

Even if many of their masks offered little to protection from a biological viewpoint, medical professionals say they offer protection in other ways.

“A pathogen is going to take one look at them and decide I don’t want to infect that.”

They added that the spindly headgear of one of the bandmembers even looks like the coronavirus, and it’s not going to attack one of its own.

“If only the rest of the public could be as proactive and responsible.”

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