(Pittsburgh PA) Scientists from the Centers for Disease Control investigating a local outbreak of acute stupidity in Southwestern Pennsylvania say they have successfully traced it to the source.
“We have located the epicenter of this devastating outbreak to the Wendy Bell Show airing weekdays 3-6pm on KDKA radio.”
Researchers first became alarmed when area residents starting coming down with believing the coronavirus was a hoax. Subsequent patients contracted a different set of dangerously ignorant beliefs, but the CDC cautions that only makes the show even more dangerous.
“This radio broadcast is capable of evading detection by mutating from a show that says the coronavirus is a hoax to one that pushes some other falsehood once it becomes clear to even the dumbest lifeform that it is not a hoax.”
They warn that it continues to be capable of infecting listeners with toxic viewpoints at odds with basic scientific reality.
“Anyone who has been in contact with the show is advised to distance themselves immediately and read a book not written by Bill O’Reilly.”
Your SUPPORT helps keep the satire coming