CDC Warns Of Growing Risk Of COVID-19 Transmission Due To Facepalming

(Atlanta, GA) The Centers for Disease Control expressed concern today about the growing potential for COVID-19 transmission presented by facepalming, which they say is dramatically on the rise. Models suggest this could lead to a massive outbreak at the National Institutes of Health and even among the scientists and medical professionals tasked with managing the coronavirus crisis.

“Unfortunately we fear it is only a matter of time before Dr. Fauci himself becomes infected via the facepalm route, no matter how hard he tries to avoid it.”

Despite issuing guidance on not touching the face, there appear to be insurmountable triggers that result in extensive involuntary hand-to-face-contact. The CDC suggests those afflicted concentrate and try to look woefully down at their shoes instead when they feel an attack is coming on.

“Our research suggests press conferences hosted by the President represent the greatest risk.”

On the other hand, they say other individuals like Mike Pompeo and Mike Pence appear immune to becoming sick and unable to do their jobs in this way.

“From a public health perspective, that’s a very bad thing.”

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1 Comment on "CDC Warns Of Growing Risk Of COVID-19 Transmission Due To Facepalming"

  1. I’m Sorry, WHAT?

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