(Atlanta, GA) The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a warning to all Americans pertaining to Senator Tom Cotton, whose recently diagnosed extreme stupidity may be communicable. Concerns were raised when many of the people around Cotton also displayed signs of increasing dumbness but researchers say it is not yet known whether Cotton infected them with stupid or they were simply born stupid too and like to be around similar people.

“We just don’t know at this time.”

They say any risk that Cotton’s ignorance is contagious, however small, must be taken seriously given how devastatingly immese Cotton’s ignorance is.

“Remember this is a guy who thinks William Shakespeare was an American.”

They advise everyone to maintain a six foot or greater separation from Cotton at all times as a precaution.

“Which is something you all should be doing anyway to comply with coronavirus social distancing guidelines and becasue he’s a dick.”

Your support keeps the satire coming