With the executive branch of government now controlled by a former Reality TV star and the legislative branch doing their best to imitate his style, the members of the US Supreme Court have become increasingly concerned that the judicial branch is no longer seen as relevant or in touch with modern culture.
Chief Justice Roberts has decided to jump in the deep end by not just allowing cameras in during hearings, but also ordering the other seven Justices to live with him in a communal house when court is in session – with it all being filmed live and broadcast as a special SCOTUS series of Celebrity Big Brother hosted by Julie Chen.
The first season will feature the selection of a new Justice, with twenty prospective room-mates being whittled down to one as they compete in demeaning challenges devised by the eight sitting members of the court.
In case the newcomers think the liberal wing of the court will be more easygoing, producers have warned them to watch out, with Justice Kagan known to be a particular fan of painful endurance contests.
“She’s a master of staring contests and comes up with excruciating forfeits that the loser had to do.”
All have contributed to the process, though some of Justices Alito’s ideas were struck down as being too sadistic for broadcast, and will only be seen on a HBO special later this year.
The news is bittersweet for fans of the late Justice Antonin Scalia, who bombastic prose and appetite for controversy would have made great TV according to show host Julie Chen.
“It’s such a shame because he would have been a real boon to the show. That man knew how to haze a rookie.”