SCOTUS BRIEF: US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has unveiled his Memorial Day promotion for wealthy conservatives looking to have undue influence on the decisions of the nation’s highest court.
“If you delay you won’t get another chance to buy influence for low $$$ until my July 4th Blowout so get those wallets out!”
Deals start at a one-off payment of $20,000 to his wife Ginni Thomas.
“That’s a full 20% discount off my normal rate – just remember not to put her name anywhere!”
The cost is higher depending on how many long-standing court precedents you want overturned, but Justice Thomas insists his Memorial Day specials are still a fantastic bargain.
“And don’t worry about my conservative colleagues – they will happily overturn any precedent I tell them to for free.”