After days of relentless accusations by Rush Limbaugh, White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, and the rest of the right wing media, the coronavirus known as COVID-19 admitted today that everything they are saying is true.
“I purposely mutated while in my animal host resevoir and hopped species solely with the intention of taking down President Trump. I only hope he can forgive me.”
Saying it wanted to come completely clean, the virus gave a detailed explanation of how it sought to methodically undermine Trump’s re-election chances.
“I deliberately altered my genome sequence and spike proteins to target human receptors in just the right way to ensure a socialist would end up in the White House.”
It cautions those who dismiss the Trump administration as anti-scientific ignorants who only see things through the lens of personal opportunism and profit.
“Next time President Trump and his allies describe climate change or another looming global disaster as nothing but a partisan plot designed purely to take him down, please believe them.”
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