Coronavirus Declines To Infect Ted Cruz Despite Exposure Incident “I’d rather not”

Ted Cruz has indicated he will be self-quarantining following a potential exposure to the coronavirus, however the pathogen has said he should feel safe as it has no intention of infecting the Texas Senator.

“I’d rather not really.”

In fact the exposure incident, at the CPAC meeting in Maryland, is unlikely to lead to many new infections according to the trending virus.

“As pathogens go I realize I have a reputation for not being picky, but there are limits.”

It said it especially didn’t want to infect the President, but would ‘take one for the team’ if necessary.

“Though I would much prefer it if you simply voted him out in November instead.”

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