Sensing it was losing the battle to wins the public’s hearts and minds, the coronavirus has launched a massive effort to rehabilitate its increasingly negative image. A spokeperson for the PR compamy hired by the virus said it deserves a second chance.

“It’s trying really hard to be more selective going forward, though that’s difficult given how biology works and the fact that many people appear to be idiots when it comes to following health guidelines.”

But it’s hopeful that the recent infection of Harvey Weinstein can salvage its plummeting reputation with humans.

“If anything can make up for infecting Tom Hanks, it’s that.”