As the coronavirus crisis worsens with multiple deaths in the United States, task force leader Mike Pence anounced he and his team have achieved a major breakthrough that could turn the tide.
“After many hours of hard work trying every form of prayer know to us we have heard back from Prince of Peace who said our pleas for a divine solution have been received.”
Pence cautioned that their prayers will not be answered until Jesus can get to them, so everyone will just have to sit tight and wait for the time being.
“He already has a lot of other prayers to get through asking him to enter the hearts and souls of future mass murderers and persuade them not to use their AR-15s and high capacity magazines to kill a bunch of folks.”
The Vice President says his team will now switch to praying that Jesus make the coronavirus-related prayers his top priority.
“We’ve even brought in experts in Aramaic to pray to Jesus in the language he group up with, so rest assured we are leaving no stone unturned in the fight against this deadly disease.”
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