The coronavirus has indicated it will be keeping a low profile after being exposed to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) meeting held recently in Maryland. It claims it was brought there by someone else who didn’t reveal the true nature of the event.

“I would never intentionally enter such a toxic environment.”

Speaking with journalists via Skype, the pathogen said imposing a quarantine on itself was the right thing to do.

“I don’t want to infect others with any hateful ideologies I may have picked up there.”

It plans to self-isolate at home for 14 days and keep an eye out for any signs of disease.

“I’ve been told to watch for blaming immigrants for every problem and something called inverse-Robin-Hood syndrome.”

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