Courts Orders John Bolton To Publish Graphic Novel Version Of His Book That Trump Can Understand

A court has decided against the Trump Administration’s request for an injunction preventing the publication of John Bolton’s book “The Room Where It Happened”. However Bolton and his publisher did not get off the hook entirely, as the court felt it was incumbent on them to ensure President Trump was personally able to understand what the book said about him.

“You are hereby ordered to produce a ‘Graphic Novel’ edition of the book containing all the basic claims made therein.”

The ruling states that the present hardcover edition, coming in at 592 pages of full sentences including frequent use of nested prepositional phrases, is ‘well beyond’ the abilities of President Trump. It continues that a balance must be struck between allowing the book to be available and also ensuring its target can access its substance.

“Ordinarily that would be achieved automatically as the other party could simply purchase the book and read it. But that does not apply in this instance.”

Bolton must submit a draft of the graphic novel to be read by a court-appointed panel of fifth grade readers. Only if they conclude that it is not beyond their comprehension will the graphic novel be considered to satisfy the court.

HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!

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