A Washington, DC, restaurant that specializes in New Orleans cuisine has apologized for turning Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell into soup that was served to other patrons.
“Amazingly our yelp rating has gone up, not down.”
In a statement, the popular establishment attempted to explain what happened, though it says there is no excuse for depriving the United States of such a fine politician.
“Senator McConnell had come to dine with some lobbyists and was seen by our chef who unfortunately assumed one of his signature ingredients has escaped from the kitchen.”
According to other diners the chef wrestled McConnell into the kitchen without a word. Though they assumed he was simply being ejected from the established over his political positions, the chef was entirely oblivious to the fact that he was making soup out of a human.
“He’s very sorry… well, somewhat sorry.”
Asked how they felt about the incident afterwards, diners said McConnell tasted quite tough, and needed more seasoning.
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“Mitch could have done with more tenderizing for sure.”