The National Weather Service is warning the American public that a volatile and highly dangerous formation made landfall in Charlotte, NC, at the beginning of the week, and there are also localized pockets of vile gusts across the country.
“The DC area in particular.”
Meteorologists caution that despite its decentralized nature and hyperbolic appearance, it is a highly coordinated event that poses a very serious and direct threat to the United States.
“This kind of disturbance can lead to a dangerous surge of bigotry and lawlessness as far as 2800 miles inland.”
They also warn that it is highly unpredictable and can violently swing from one direction to another with little rhyme, reason, or logic of any kind.
“Whatever allows it to build in strength and cause the most damage it will do.”
They added that in addition to all this, Hurricane Laura is making landfall in Texas and Louisiana in the same week.
“That is going to be very bad too and will also likely kill a bunch of innocent people.”
YOUR GENEROSITY KEEPS THE SATIRE COMING!