Defiant Cuomo Chains Himself To Bed In Governor’s Mansion

(Albany, NY) Returning to his pugilistic form, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo today said he has no intention of resigning and there was no question of his being forcibly removed from his official residence.

“Good luck with that considering I’ve chained myself to the bed with these handcuffs I keep around for, um, never mind.”

Wearing little more than a sheet, Cuomo dared critics like Chuck Schumer to try to wrestle him out of office.

“Do so and be prepared for scenes that make the one in the first Borat movie look tame.”

He insisted he was more than able to continue carrying out his duties despite his current difficulties.

“I do some of my best work in the bedroom.”

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