Dermatologists Discover Thinnest Known Human Skin On Local Shock Jock Who Quit Facebook

Researchers in the field of dermatology are publishing their amazing finding of the thinnest known human skin which they discovered on the body of former Pittsburgh news reporter and current shock jock, Wendy Bell. Using advanced laser interferometry techniques, they were able to determine down the nano-meter how thin Bell’s dermal layers are.

“It appears that Ms. Bell’s skin is only a couple of cells thick, which is truly remarkable from a biological perspective.”

They conducted the research after receiving tips from the Pittsburgh blogging community that Bell – who recently quit Facebook ostensibly due to censorship but in actuality because she cannot cope with the fact that nobody wants to listen to her rantings anymore – might be a subject worth studying. The scientists were confident it would be worthwhile given previous research indicating a connection between extraordinarily thin skin and behaviors Bell exhibited.

“The correlation between displaying that much butthurt and discovering record-setting thin skin is very high, so we were expecting a notable result.”

There are hoping to conduct further research on Bell to increase their medical knowledge in the field, which has already been greatly advanced through detailed studies of former President Trump.

“Hopefully she will make herself available so we can better understand how organisms with such thin outer layers still manage to function and even thrive in their environment.”

Read Donzi & Jag: The Case Of The Unfinished Pierogies by S.C. Bridges for FREE (for now anyway) on our Patreon!

1 Comment on "Dermatologists Discover Thinnest Known Human Skin On Local Shock Jock Who Quit Facebook"

  1. Windy’s good at losing, WTAE, KDKA, WJAS, RUMBLE, YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK. So how long before twitch & the app fail? Asking for a friend

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