Devil Disavows Any Connection With Dow Falling 666 Points Under Trump

Noting that the Dow Jones Index fell a suspicious 666 points on the same day President Trump declassified the Nunes memo criticizing the FBI, many are speculating that this is a sign that Trump and the Devil are one and the same.

However, the Devil pushed back almost immediately in a statement released about an hour after the closing bell.

“fyi I’m not Trump and have nothing to do with him or today’s stock market losses. It’s just an unfortunate coincidence so plz stop with the hurtful comments. D.”

Sources close to the Devil say he has been depressed for the past year and a half over frequent comparisons to No. 45 which he feels are wholly unjustified and not borne out by the facts.

“Mostly these days I just tempt people to be a little more selfish in their personal lives and tone down the empathy. But nothing like on the scale he’s know for. I’m not the… well I am but you know what I mean.”

The Devil also took time to remind the American voting public that it was not his dark sorcery that put Trump in power.

“That’s all on you, and the Russians.”

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