Dome Removed From Capitol To Accommodate James Comey’s Giant Can Of Whoopass

The dome of the U.S. Capitol building is being hastily removed to allow for the can of whoopass former FBI director James Comey will bring with him when he appears to testify before Congress on Thursday.

Comey had always made clear he planned to bring a can of whoopass with him, but nobody quite appreciated how big it was going to be.

“To see him you’d think ‘not too much whoopass’. But this is a whole lot of whoopass.”

While it was expected that a few doors might have to be taken off their hinges to accommodate Comey’s can of whoopass, a preview of what was coming made no bones about the sheer scale of it.

“This can of whoopass is gonna have to be lowered in.”

Even then it was believed only a small section needed to be opened up. That is, until someone read up on everything Comey had said thusfar.

“The dome will have to come off. That’s how big this can of whoopass is.”

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