The face of the coronavirus task force, Dr. Anthony Fauci, has been hospitalized after suffering a severe outbreak of facepalming syndrome, it was revealed today. Though Dr. Fauci developed the debilitating condition earlier this year, he had succeeded in managing his ailment until he experienced a dramatic relapse on Thursday evening. Medical staff treating the infectious disease expert say it appears he went into a rapid decline right after learning President Trump and the First Lady had both tested positive for COVID-19.
“He just can’t stop right now.”
They say he is expected to remain hospitalized until they get his facepalming under control to the point where he is no longer a danger to himself.
“The repeated knocks to the head can add up and cause concussion-like issues in the brain, and there’s also the risk of compression bruises to the skin on the forehead and palms.”
Presently, he is being treated using restraints and distraction, as well as being taught alternatives to facepalming that are less harmful.
“Cursing out loud is a good one, as long as there are no little ones around.”