Saying he didn’t want people to be alarmed, Dr Fauci reassured the public today that his appearance in a straitjacket does not mean he has gone insane.
“Despite that being a perfectly understandable response to some of the press conferences I have been a part of, I have not lost my mind – yet, anyway.”
Instead, Fauci explained, the restraining device is designed to prevent him facepalming whevever confronted with examples of mindblowing idiocy.
“Touching the face is not recommended due to the risk of viral transmission which is why I will be wearing a straitjacket from now on whenever I am near the President.”
He said anyone who doesn’t believe this extreme measure is necessary need only check Youtube to understand why.
“My reaction to that ‘Deep State’ comment convinced me I am incapable of not facepalming without physical restraint. You’ve all seen the video I’m sure.”
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