Saying they wanted to give the President the opportunity to back up his tough words with deeds, the FBI promised to let him go in first the next time they are dealing with an active shooter inside a building.
“We’ll hold back so you can go in and fix things using some duct tape and whatever you find in the janitor’s closet.”
They are doing this because they know he must be suffering over not being there to risk life and limb during recent tragic events.
“It must be really painful to feel so passionately, yet not be able to do anything because you weren’t in Vietnam – we mean Florida.”
They say they’ll be right behind him, but promise not to interfere while he MacGyver’s the situation like the brave man he obviously is.
“We suggest distracting the shooter with your hair-flap first, then taking him out with your improvised weaponry.”