FBI To Search Mike Pence’s AOL Email Backups Once They Locate Working 5¼” Floppy Disk Drive

Following the revelation that Vice President Mike Pence has used a private AOL email account to conduct government business, the FBI has elected to search through all emails sent using his America-OnLine account in the interests of transparency.

They anticipate it could take some time, however, as Pence still maintains his backups using floppy disquettes on an IBM AT PC, and the agency has yet to locate a working 5¼” Floppy Disk Drive at FBI headquarters.

Fortunately Pence was in the habit of composing his longer emails by hand on paper first, for which he said he would be able to provide carbon copies.

Pence said he is happy to answer any questions from the press on this matter. If they can’t get hold of him on the blower because he’s indisposed, he requests they leave a detailed message with their number on his answering machine. Alternatively they may submit their written questions to him via facsimile machine.

The revelation of his private email account follows an incident earlier in the week when the Vice President alarmed the Secret Service with talk of disturbing chatter on the wireless, until they realized he meant AM radio and not the White House WiFi network.

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