Federal Government To Recognize Columbo Day Instead of Columbus Day From Now On

In response to growing pressure, the United States Government is to stop celebrating Columbus Day. The traditional October holiday falling on the second Monday will now be known as Columbo Day, when the affable TV detective made famous by the late Peter Falk is to be honored instead.

“This way Italian-American fans of Columbus still get to celebrate someone they can view as one of their own, while those who disdain Christopher Columbus will hopefully take comfort in the fact that a genocidal conqueror has been displaced by someone who is very hard to dislike.”

The National Congress of American Indians, though far from satisfied, agreed that it’s difficult to stay angry at Columbo for any length of time.

“Obviously this is not what we were looking for as it still celebrates a white man of privilege instead of highlighting Indigenous Peoples. That being said, one could do worse than to promote a consistently underestimated clumsy detective who always manages to show up the folly of powerful elites in the end.”

Schools that are not closed are encouraged to mark Columbo Day by setting aside a couple of hours for a joint viewing of an episode. DVDs may be ordered from the Department of Education free of charge.

“May we recommend ‘Last Salute to the Commodore’ featuring the inimitable Robert Vaughn. It’s a classic.”

19 Comments on "Federal Government To Recognize Columbo Day Instead of Columbus Day From Now On"

  1. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Omg, these comments are better than the meme!! Thank you everyone!

  2. Cristóbal Colón is a hero. The way he arrived to the new world was a mix of courage taking an uncertain risk a great adventure! He was a discoverer! He intergrated the entire planet.

  3. I think this is a great step in the right direction! RIP Peter Falk.

  4. RIP Peter Falk, you were a great man!

  5. Wow, great picture of Colombo discovering America. However, I created his picture three years ago, and I didn’t give you permission to use it. This is a copyright violation and I’d like you to take it down. As a professional comedian I have to protect my copyrighted material. Please pay me for usage rights or remove it. If you want the original comedy, go to RADIOLEARY.com. Sincerely, Chris O’Leary

    • Collage is not covered by conventional copyright- unless you own the painting, and the photograph used? The painting is historical and is thus public domain, but the photograph will be the property of either a studio or a TV network and is not usable. So f you copyrighted that collage without obtaining usage rights for the photograph? Then you are guilty of plagiarism, copyright infringement and possibly of obtaining a fraudulent copyright.

  6. “A SATIRICAL blog………”

  7. Give it up tou injuns LOST!!!

  8. I’m sorry but I have no understanding of how this is a replacement for a day that was supposed to be the beginning of America. I believe that we should call it Indigenous People’s Day. Makes me feel like we are still trying to take things from the people who were here before Italians, Spaniards, any so called firsts in the “New World”- sorry but I don’t see the point of this!

  9. Cynthia L Edwards | October 14, 2019 at 1:36 pm | Reply

    My favorite episodes feature Patrick McGoohan. “Ashes to Ashes,” “Agenda for Murder,” “Identity Crisis,” and “By Dawn’s Early Light.” McGoohan also directed several episodes.

  10. I don’t get the Italian identification with Columbus. Yes, he was Genovese, but he sailed for Spain, identified with Spain, called himself “Cristobal Colon,” not “Columbo,” and named his son “Deigo.”

    He also killed Italy’s economic leadership, since before him, the Mediterranean was the only trade route. The New World was settled by the Spanish, the Portuguese, the English, the French, and the Dutch. NOT the Italians. Columbus’s action left Italy BEHIND.

    And to top it all, Genoa was NOT part of Italy in 1492. It was the independent Republic of Genoa.

  11. HEY JOHN, YOU’RE AN IDIOT!!! 🙂

  12. Another possibility that may already be in planning is that since we already have a President’s Day that celebrates 2 and maybe more president’s birthdays we could eventually have another favorite TV star’s show along with Columbo and we could then have TV star’s day. Perhaps the Lone Ranger or Daniel Boone. Then we could even placate the native indieans without really appearing to do so. A politician’s daydream come true.

  13. Fuck these retarded liberals can’t fucking leave anything alone

  14. Peter was also one-eyed so He would be a three-for.

  15. Richard Marcus | October 13, 2019 at 2:24 am | Reply

    great idea to have Columbo day especially since Peter Falk was Jewish. It would kind of be a twofer holiday celebrating both the Glorious accomplishments of both Italian and Jewish immigrants. Nothing anybody can tell us apart.

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