Oklahoma State Representative Justin Humphrey has drawn the ire of many women with his belief that pregnant women are ‘hosts’ who no longer own their bodies.
But perhaps no-one is better placed to teach Humphrey a lesson than this feminist hookworm who is dearly hoping it can find its way into the lawmaker’s body.
“I can’t wait to migrate through your lungs to your intestine, at which time you will become my host as I siphon off your nutrients.”
The Old World hookworm and Gloria Steinem fan has a ready answer if Humphrey tries to blame the bloodsucking parasite for his infection.
“No it will be YOUR fault for not blindly following the rules of whatever bullshit hookworm religion I happen to believe in. DIMWIT!”
Though hookworm is usually contracted by eating contaminated food, this Necator americanus wants the lawmaker to know that he doesn’t deserve treatment no matter how he obtained it.
“Maybe instead of the oral route I should have someone ass-rape me straight into your lower bowels. Because how I got there is irrelevant, right? JACKASS!”
Humphrey should also be prepared to spend a long time paying for his decision to become infected, since without medical attention hookworm can remain in the body for years.
“BTW when I release a million hookworm eggs into your fecal matter you damn well better raise them all and put them through college. Because that’s WHAT I WANT!”