The source of endless entertainment known as Florida Man was said to be heartbroken today after realizing that his time as the byword for the craziness of his native state has come to an end.
“Out goes Florida Man and in comes Florida Dog.”
Though he initially dismissed the canine as incapable of matching his outlandish actions, he soon learned the painful truth.
“Florida Dog’s shenanigans involve out of control automobiles, daring police responses, donuts and he does it all butt naked. I can’t compete with that!”
Florida Man did some gravel and then started to rob a gas station using a nerf gun that fired chicken nuggets but went home before anyone realized what was happening.
“My heart’s just not in it any more.”
He says he accepts that people will only want to hear about Florida Dog from now on, something he would never have thought would happen.
“Being Florida I always thought it would be a gator or a python that knocked me off my throne.”