Former President Comes Out As Staunch Advocate For Prison Reform

Image credit: 'Donald Trump Laconia Rally' by Michael Vadon via Commons license CC BY-SA 4.0.

Former President Trump made the news today with a surprising new policy position on prison reform that seemed at odds with the tough, mean-spirited stance he was known for while in office.

“It is high-time we start treating our prison population with the humanity they deserve.”

While other high-profile politicians, such as Pennsylvania’s John Fetterman, have long been advocates for prison reform and treating inmates with more compassion, Trump has heretofore not touched upon the subject according to political analysts.

“Up until today I would have imagined his stance was lock them up and throw away the key, but this morning’s impassioned speech about showing kindness to those who have lost their way seemed to come from the heart.”

Proving he wasn’t just paying lip service to the issue, Trump followed up his speech with detailed policy proposals designed to make life easier for inmates, including round-the-clock access to cable TV and menus inspired by leading fast-food outlets.

“It’s the least that those serving time in our prisons deserve. Most of them probably didn’t even do anything wrong in the first place and are just victims of witch hunts by terrible people. Sad!”

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