Geologists At A Loss To Explain Steam Emanating From Mount Rushmore

(Keystone, SD) Scientists from the Harold Hamm School of Geology & Geological Engineering at the University of North Dakota arrived at Mount Rushmore today to investigate what they say is an unprecedented geological phenomena that could have consequences for the popular tourist attraction once COVID-19 restrictions are lifted.

“We’ve never seen anything like it.”

Concerns were raised early on July 4th by staff clearing up after a pre-Independence Day event held by President Trump after they noticed what appeared to be white steam emanating from the immense monument. Scientists confirmed the preliminary observations were correct.

“It appears as a bilateral eruption of super-heated water vapor focused on the visage of George Washington.”

Previously thought to be an stable inert granite formation, they say this could suggest hitherto undiscovered volcanic activity beneath Mouth Rushmore that could potentially put visitors at risk, though they note this is at odds with all that is known about the region.

“At this time we quite honestly have no scientific explanation for this, which is obviously of concern.”

Though would not preclude Mount Rushmore continuing as a tourist attraction with appropriate safeguards in place like those at Old Faithful, the scientists fear this may not the full extent of the disturbance.

“Additionally, we are detecting a huge buildup of pressure behind Abraham Lincoln’s forehead that could violently explode at any moment.”

They say the appearance of such an instability has them completely flummoxed given the lack of any history of dynamic processes like this before.

“There were anecdotal reports of some unexplained minor tremors during the second Nixon administration, but whatever that was it is completely dwarfed by what is happening right now.”

HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!

21 Comments on "Geologists At A Loss To Explain Steam Emanating From Mount Rushmore"

  1. Omg people. Can you not tell this is a joke. Wake up. It’s hilarious!

  2. Satire VS the Trump Conspiracy theorists. Shakes my head in disbelief.

  3. OMG…I don’t know what’s more amusing…the original (satire) post, or Some the (Gullible) responses🤦🏻‍♀️ The idea that they believe this Certainly explains so much. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  4. It’s clouds. Not steam. Just another ploy from democRATS to get rid of it.

  5. it’s a cloud🙌🏼 and they’re probably just saying this so they can keep people away from there so people can’t go up and vandalize them! But who knows🤷🏼‍♀️

  6. The founding fathers want nothing to do with Trump always trying to steal the show! Obviously Trump doesn’t agree with them of them or what they stood for. Trump just doesn’t want to be left out of something so monumental. Wouldn’t surprise me a bit if he wanted to make room and squeeze in next to Abe. Ya know, the guy he compares himself to all the time.

  7. Shows how mad our past leaders are about the way our country is heading.

  8. Bulla Shitter | July 5, 2020 at 9:51 pm | Reply

    Left is going to blow that thang!

  9. I’m not a scientist but but it sure hell looks like clouds to me.

  10. Danny Smith | July 5, 2020 at 8:34 pm | Reply

    Propaganda to tear down Mt Rushmore I called that 2 weeks ago and my friends on FB replied “Don’t give them any ideas!”

  11. George is pissed!!!

  12. The captain | July 5, 2020 at 5:47 pm | Reply

    Just another way to explain away how it explodes when the left decides to destroy it. They will point to this study, and say it was bound to happen. Bs scientists, bs media, if Trump never went there it would be just fine. But BLM (the left) says they are offensive – o yes to socialism, and communism… history is bound to repeat itself… once you remove the memory of what was, it certainly returns again…

    • This is unacceptable. When people continue to spread unfounded conspiracy theories and paranoia with zero proof of claims, with zero factual basis to cite in building the theories, it contributes to the continuation of the deep and growing division in this country and is dangerously pushing us toward a complete collapse. There are a number of serious psychological conditions that exhibit this type of “the world is against me” type of mental condition. Please seek help. Your friends, your family, and your community need you to be healthy.

    • Omg. You’re an idiot. The damn thing is satire. Can you read?

  13. How about George is boiling mad as to what’s going on in this country!

  14. So why aren’t they wearing masks ??? Huh why

  15. Washington and Lincoln are pissed at the ongoing anarchy

  16. Maybe it’s Karmageddon!!!

  17. vicki dahlstrom | July 5, 2020 at 1:30 am | Reply

    Thanks

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