Germany Agrees To Compensate United States By Picking Up The Tab For Bowling Green Victims

(Berlin) After initially arguing that Germany didn’t owe the United States ‘vast sums of money’ in return for NATO defense protection, Chancellor Angela Merkel has agreed to pay up.

“The German people are happy to do so in the form of compensation paid directly to the victims of the horrible attack on Bowling Green on your behalf.”

Merkel is not being stingy either, as she has committed Germany to paying one billion euro (approx. $1.1 billion) each to the families of every victim of the attack.

All they need to do is submit their claim directly to my office, with all the relevant information including which hospital or morgue their family member tragically ended up in.”

As a further mark of generosity, Merkel – who is quite wealthy – wants to celebrate President Trump’s victory by making a symbolic 10,000 euro donation to his re-election campaign fund for every person at Trump’s inaugural in excess of the number at Obama’s.

“Just have your National Park Service forward me the relevant photographic evidence so I can guestimate how much to give.”

30 Comments on "Germany Agrees To Compensate United States By Picking Up The Tab For Bowling Green Victims"

  1. I’m sure she did. Having to sit next to that pile of human waste must have taken all the dignity she could muster. Apparently she viewed the occasion with a great sense of humor! Wonder if Trump got it?

  2. Some people on here really think she said this?

  3. maybe we should all move to Germany.

  4. Hooray Angela absolutely the best defense against

    Ignorant destructive behavior you are my heroine thank God for you Germany is lucky to have you!

  5. Shaila Martin | March 23, 2017 at 8:41 am | Reply

    Who is this character Bimartin. Of course there was a Bowling Green Massacre. Kellyanne Conway tipped the world off. Those people never do fake news.

  6. Kim. There was no Bowling Green Massacre. Look up the story about Bowling Green Kentucky.

  7. I love this! Must be shared.

  8. Darlene Rowlands | March 22, 2017 at 4:58 pm | Reply

    Germany owns nothing to The USA. They have already agreed to pay 2% of their GDP to NATO for their co-op defense. It was certainly smart of Merkel to offer to pay for the damage done to victims of Bowling Green, a hideous mistake perpetrated by The Conway’s. I also apologize to Germany and Ms. Merkal for our Presiden!s appalling behaviour. ( Not my President!)

  9. Christi Golden-Clark | March 21, 2017 at 5:37 pm | Reply

    Being born in Germany, I am proud of my first country. Germany paid to restore much of Europe after WWII and now this. I’d like to see the Middle East pay for all the damage they have caused in the USA and other parts of Europe like Paris and Berlin from their suicide bombers and terrorists. I am not a Trump fan, but neither am I a fan of Hillary Clinton. Which is the worst of two evils? Hats of to Germany and the USA.

  10. Shlomo Liberman | March 21, 2017 at 7:54 am | Reply

    Quite funny with one unintentional typo
    “Merkel is not being stingy either, as she has committed Germany to playing (sic) one billion euro “

  11. Rhonda Pierre | March 21, 2017 at 6:55 am | Reply


  12. Fredrick Douglass almost had a heart attack when he heard this!!

  13. Constance Samuelson | March 21, 2017 at 2:27 am | Reply

    I needed this laugh today. Thank you for the humor. On the other note: I cannot imagine myself having to sit next to Trump, listening to his disgusting rants and rude behavior. Chancellor Markell held her own with grace and dignity.

  14. Connection: I ment to stay DISLIKE toward women

  15. I was born and raised in Germany and I was absolutely embarrassed of the behavior of Trump toward the German Chancellor Merkel he showed again his ignorance and this like toward women Chancellor Merkel show dignity and class

  16. I think this is a hoot. An excellent hoot!!

  17. Sandra Tindale | March 20, 2017 at 9:17 pm | Reply

    Chancellor Merkel: Your generosity, composure & dignity shows the world why women make the best leaders. On behalf of American women, I apologize for Donald Trumps ignorance.

  18. Richard Gribble | March 20, 2017 at 5:08 pm | Reply

    I congratulate Chancellor Merkel on the effort she’s making, says alot about the person she is, Germany is keeping the economy of the EU healthy and progressive

  19. I hope everyone will see this

  20. You know there was a real Bowling Green Massacre where no one ever received compensation. That is a travesty in snd of itself.

  21. Syeda Tahera | March 20, 2017 at 2:05 pm | Reply

    I have great respect& love forAngela Merkl & apologies on behalf of all Americans for the rude behavior of the person in White House.

  22. I am in total agreement with the Chancellor of Germany and am willing to add to her very generous cause. As an American, it is the very least I can do heal the wound that has recently been caused by our un-President and show the World that not only do most Americans stand with the World we do not stand with the current administration!

  23. She really has a sense of humor!

  24. Julie Biddle | March 20, 2017 at 9:48 am | Reply

    We must never forget the Bowling Green Massacre. The loss of truth and facts was horrendous and will remain in the world’s consciousness and haunt the USA for decades.

  25. Michael Collins | March 20, 2017 at 12:38 am | Reply

    What can I say after Ms. Angela Merkel statement, I agree with her a 100% as a matter a fact I’ll be willing to donate to this noble cause.

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