Having remained elusive since the dawn of time so his followers could perceive the profound mysteries of faith, God has broken his cover at to reject multiple assertions by others that he wanted Donald Trump to be President.

“Some things are more important that preserving the touchstones upon which all religion and belief are based.”

The depth of God’s feeling on the matter was apparent in the way he appeared everywhere – in the sky, as burning bushes, and via text message to every cell phone on the planet – to say “I, God am real, here’s definitive proof, and BTW I definitely do not endorse Trump”.

God apologized to all atheists for making them look foolish, but reminded everyone they had every reason to hold that position.

“It wasn’t like I gave anyone a single coherent reasonable argument for believing in me – until now anyway.”