Gods Of Olympus Rebuff “Mortal Lives Matter” Movement with “All Lives Matter” Slogan

[Mount Olympus, Greece] The growing “Mortal Lives Matter” campaign – which organizers insist is a peaceful movement to bring injustice against mortals to light – may have began in response to a number of humans having their already limited lives cut even shorter when used as playthings of the Gods.

But that didn’t stop leading Greek deity Zeus denouncing the protest movement, which he accused of being inherently bigoted:

“What about all the instances of frail humans causing harm to the Immortal Gods?”

Zeus then, having become irritated by the whole thing, slayed a mortal with a thunderbolt and turned into a goat to rape a virgin in order to take his mind off things.

Mortals maintain that the #MortalLivesMatter movement is not intended to minimize any suffering the hedonistic Gods might endure – whatever that may be – but to highlight the disproportionate suffering mortals endure due to ingrained systematic bias.

They also argue that they are in need of special attention because they have frail pulpy bodies that are vulnerable to all kinds of threats and disease, whereas the Gods are blessed with eternal life.

The residents of Mount Olympus responded by accusing the #MortalLivesMatter movement of being divisive and went back to enjoying their #ImmortalPrivilege.

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