Google CEO Sundar Pichai has cut his vacation to address the crisis in his organization caused by a memo that ridiculed the idea that women and minorities are underrepresented due to ingrained systemic bias.

Pichai sought to counter the negative press by highlighting the case of a male Google employee who doesn’t believe that, and is happy to report that late last night they found one.

“Tim cautions me that his PhD is in heuristic programming and not biology so he can’t be sure, but he is definitely of the opinion that a female can be a leader!”

Not only does Tim generously adopt the viewpoint that women can be useful in the workplace, he even extends his philogynist attitude to his personal life.

“Tim also thinks his girlfriend is hot even though she’s over 130 lbs. I mean, what a guy!”

For a time the CEO was in a funk thinking there was something seriously wrong with his industry, but that was before the extensive search by HR identified Tim.

“I was beginning to get depressed about the situation, but the fact that we found a guy like Tim among our 57,000 employees tells me we’re not like Uber!”

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