The Selective Service System has announced it has eliminated its age and sex requirements, meaning that all Trump supporters can now be called on to do their duty in time of war.

“We figured the age limit of 27 wasn’t fair on all those older patriots who are so keen to show Iran what’s what.”

This now means anyone can be called up to serve in the military, though director Don Benton said only those voters and pundits who have shown sufficient eagerness for war will be allowed to fight for their country this time.

“We’ve already reserved places in boot camp for Lindsey Graham, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Laura Ingraham and will get them serving in combat roles ASAP”

Ordinary voters will get their chance to meet the Iranian Republican Guard, and possibly Russian and Chinese proxy armies, on the battlefield too.

“Don’t worry if you forget to register – we’ll be searching all your facebook profiles and coming to get the ones who seem most up for it.”

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Okay, back to World War Three…