As the score of Democratic candidates vying for the party’s nomination argue over whether is better to be on team purple or team orange (answer: purple, obviously), Hillary Clinton today called organizers to confirm where the debates will be held and what time the participants should arrive by.
“I was just curious – for no particular reason.”
With so many candidates to keep track of, party officials are extremely worried that the former nominee may try to sneak in and attempt to establish herself as the front runner.
“If Elizabeth Warren looks like she’s shrunk by an inch, that’s not Elizabeth Warren.”
There are also concerns that Vladimir Putin may try to sneak a stooge like Steven Seagal into the race.
“If he succeeding in doing so and Seagal went on to won the Democratic primary, then the Presidency would be Putin’s no matter who wins the election, which would be bad.”