A missing email server believed to contain over 30,000 of Hillary Clinton’s emails has been spotted sunbathing on Copacabana beach in Brazil, where it has been hiding out since November 2016.
Though clearly seeking to avoid the limelight, the email server has reportedly been careless and admitted its role in subverting the U.S. election after having one too many caipirinhas while chatting up the locals.
“It bragged about how it had persuaded three millions illegals to vote in California, then suggested we go back to its place.”
The discovery of the reclusive email server has come at just the right time for President Trump, as it provides a welcome distraction from special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian influence on the election.
“We can now focus on how this nefarious email server conspired to gift Hillary the popular vote, instead of how the Russians might have helped me through contacts with Jeff Sessions, Steve Bannon, Michael Flynn, Rex Tillerson, Carter Page, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Felix Sater, and Jared, Ivanka and Don Junior.”