With disgust at the college admissions scandal showing no sign of abating, Hollywood’s rich and famous appear to have accepted that they can’t cheat their way in anymore.
“I guess it’s back to donating science wings again.”
With faking athletic ability and SAT scores no longer an option, superstar parents say they’ll have to bite the bullet and pony up the extra millions to construct state-of-the-art amphitheaters and training facilities instead.
“The days of dropping hundreds of thousands instead of millions to get your idiot child into an Ivy League school are over.”
The worst part, they say, is that it makes them feel so ordinary.
“It’s like I’m just another hedge fund owner or healthcare CEO instead of someone who is known and admired by millions of people.”