OPINION: Those SpaceX Tourists Going Around The Moon Better Get Some Fucking Peanuts

Today we invite a special opinion piece on tourism from disgruntled commercial airline traveler Fred Willis.

I don’t know about you but I’ve had it with modern travel – the delays, the cramped seats – it’s a travesty. Which is why with a new frontier opening up I say this is where we must make a stand.

To the Sheiks or Oligarchs who are paying Elon Musk for a trip around the Moon on SpaceX, I say this – if there are no free peanuts, fuck ‘em. I suggest you complain about the legroom too but I heard they’re not conceding on that and frankly they’re no worse than any of the tightwad airlines.

One caveat – I am not an absolutist about peanuts. Mini pretzels are fine and I would be perfectly happy with trail mix too. As long as there’s some kind of snack – but not those hard biscuits – they’re bullshit.

Sure, people will say you can bring your own onboard but who knows what security is going to confiscate from one day to the next – and you know how much they going to charge for snacks in the land-side shopping area. Far too much!

And one more thing – I understand it’s quite a long journey around the Moon and that it can be quite chilly. So insist upon a complimentary blanket, and, most importantly, a sleep mask. You don’t want to be distracted by everything that’s going on around you while you’re up there.

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