(Tehran) After suggesting they planned to go after Trump’s businesss reputation rather that target the United States as a whole, Iranian leaders today admitted defeat in their ploy to destroy the reputations of his hotels, casinos, apartment buildings, and other Trump enterprises.

“Turns out everyone already believes they are utter shit, and with good reason!”

The carefully planned scheme to devastate the reputation of President Trump’s various business holdings, through social media campaigns, yelp reviews, and by planting rats in buildings, turned out to be a complete waste of time.

“No-one would even have noticed!”

Apart from digging up the greens on a few of his golf courses, the Supreme Leader said he was all out of ideas.

“Guess we’ll just have to sink some oil tankers and go to war after all!”

We need your help! Please consider giving a recurring micro-donation on Patreon or a one time donation. And if you can’t help financially you can still do us a big favor by sharing.