Following President Trump;s announcement that he had identified 52 potential targets – one for each of the American hostages held by Iran in 1979 – the Iranian leadership has likewise announced a retaliatory list of targets should the situation escalate further.

“There’s one for each of his braincells, so it’s a very short list.”

The particular choice of targets is also highly symbolic, they say.

“They’re mostly just empty barren fields, devoid of any kind of useful activity.”

The list will be revised in response to changing events.

“If one of his braincells dies we will certainly amend our list to just two vacuous sites where there is nothing of any value whatsoever.”

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Okay, back to World War Three…