Irish Ordered To Get Shitfaced At Home Instead This St. Patrick’s Day

Irish people talking shite.

(Dublin, Ireland) In a further sign of the impact of the coronavirus across the world, all St. Patrick’s Day parades in Ireland have been cancelled. Taoiseach Leo Varadkar said it was important for the well-being of those who were most vulnerable.

“I have concluded based on the advice of the HSE [Health Service Executive] that everyone should stay home this March 17th and get off their head there instead.”

Though some people were upset they wouldn’t be getting legless at a parade, a sizable number said they were planning to get shitfaced at home this year anyway.

“Who wants to deal with crowds when you can have a great time at home with the telly and a case of Bulmers.”

There was concern, however, that the move could lead to large gatherings at off-licences in the run-up to the holiday.

“Be sure to get your booze quickly and maintain a six foot separation at all times.”

ah go on and support us why don’t you ->

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