President Donald Trump has issued a threat to fired FBI Director James Comey via twitter that warned he’d better hope Trump didn’t have secret tapes of their conversations before he goes shooting his mouth off.
It was on reading the menacing tweet that Comey remembered something curious about his meetings in the Oval Office: Trump would always invite his microwave to join them.
“He told me it was in case he needed to warm up his Big Mac, but now I realize it was for a far more sinister purpose.”
That purpose, as was publically let slip by Trump confidant Kellyanne Conway some weeks ago, was surveillance.
“Clearly he is trying to intimidate me with his covert oven-obtained video and audio footage.”
Fortunately, Comey has his own secret recordings of those conversations to refer to if it becomes a case of he said he said.
“I always made sure to bring my electric razor along, under the pretext of having a problem with five o’clock shadow.”