Janet Jackson’s Nipple Sues The NFL & CBS For Discrimination

Citing egregious and unabashed discrimination of the worst kind, Janet Jackson’s nipple filed suit today seeking tens of millions of dollars in damages from broadcaster CBS and the National Football League.

The action was triggered by the performance of Adam Levine’s nipples during this year’s Super Bowl half-time show, which received no sanction despite being blatantly on display for much of the set.

Janet Jackson’s nipple, on the contrary, claims to have been ‘hounded’ and ‘humiliated’ for a very brief appearance during the 2004 half-time show which, the nipple’s lawyer contends, was clearly not even intentional.

The same cannot be said for Levine’s nipples’ appearance, which was ‘as intentional as you can get’, according to Ms. Jackson’s nipple. Mention is also made in the suit of Levine’s extensively tattooed torso.

“It was all very – to quote one of my owner’s biggest hits – nasty.”

3 Comments on "Janet Jackson’s Nipple Sues The NFL & CBS For Discrimination"

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  3. Arthur U K Briton. | February 6, 2019 at 5:21 am | Reply

    The slower, more commercial-packed version of Rugby where all of the players feel the need to wear body armour and helmets celebrated its terrible version of the Six Nations cup recently, where one of the teams probably won. We here in the UK didn’t stay up to watch because we’re not insane and we didn’t even bother looking up the teams involved because we don’t care. This American Football cup final was the most American Footballest of all, with stops every few minutes for adverts for stuff that now-one in there right mind would buy. What a spectacle of consumerism. I’m sure you watched that team take on the other team, just as I won’t be, and I’m not bothering with the halftime show performance by someone-or-other no matter how many nipples are on show.

    Arthur U K Briton.

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