Jared Kushner Receives Full Security Clearance And First Pair Of Big Boy Pants

Senior White House adviser Jared Kushner has received his permanent security clearance, ending a long period of uncertainty over his status. Kushner was said to be happy about it, though the good news was overshadowed by an even more exciting development.

“Today is also the day he gets to wear his first pair of big boy pants, complete with zipper pockets.”

Kushner spent the day being briefed on the ongoing Mueller investigation, and trying out utility belts to use with his full length cargo pants.

“He has all kinds of active gear in mind, most of which he made himself after watching Batman.”

Wife Ivanka said it’s so cute they way he now advises on matters of national security and climbs every tree in sight.

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