Jennifer Lawrence Only Taking Questions From Amish Reporters From Now On

Academy Award winner Jennifer Lawrence is taking flak for telling a reporter ‘You can’t live your whole life behind your phone, bro’ when he was asking her a question at the 2016 Golden Globes. Many observers found her behavior rude and unnecessary, especially considering that it appeared her inquisitor’s first language wasn’t English.

But the outspoken star of the Hunger Games and every Bradley Cooper movie is not backing down in her insistence on staying in the moment, and has devised a solution to the problem of the press being too attached to their personal electronic devices.

“From now on I’m only taking questions from Amish reporters.”

Given the importance of Jennifer Lawrence to the entertainment press, it has no choice but to accede to her demand. This means that employment prospects for the Pennsylvania Dutch at organizations like TMZ have just gotten a whole lot brighter, according to TMZ founder Harvey Levin.

“I’ll pay them all the money, canned goods, or whatever else they use for currency they want to come work for me.”

As his new staff will have to make their way to LA from Pennsylvania via horse-drawn buggy, Levin says to expect a J-Law gossip dry spell for a few weeks.

3 Comments on "Jennifer Lawrence Only Taking Questions From Amish Reporters From Now On"

  1. Well Gulliver,
    Thank god for twitter shares or I would have had to live another day without getting the joy of sinking my teeth into your prose.

    Hey I am a new blogger and I want to re blog your Birder post on my blog. I don’t know if a sea of lawyers is going to decend on my for asking or if I even need express written consent.

    I have the Northwest birders flocking into my town of 611 people. Hagerman, Idaho and I thought I could ruffle some feathers. Please stop e if I sub reference again.

    Love your stuff – keep it coming.

    Christopher

  2. The Amish are the worst Puppy Mill offenders in the US. Will someone please tell this to Jennifer Lawrence?

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