As Easter ceremonies take place in churches across the country, Jesus Christ said today he couldn’t keep quiet any longer about this tasteless tradition of celebrating one of the worst times in his life.
“I was nailed to a cross. My dad disowned me. Glad you find it all so joyous.”
Though on the surface a happy occasion in which kids hunt for eggs, Jesus says at root Easter still reminds him of the time he was stuck in the side repeatedly by a Roman spear.
Jesus is especially unhappy at the way people use the anniversary of what was a very painful time for him as an excuse to gorge on chocolate.
“You’re ruining it for me by association.”
He added he has no problems with people celebrating his birthday however.