In the latest twist and turn of an exciting start to the election season, Joe Biden topped the political headlines today when his foot briefly made an appearance outside of its normal resting place in his mouth.
“I never thought I’d see the day!”
The press were all over the breaking story that Biden was trying a radical new campaign tactic of not opening his mouth to let gaffe and gaffe pour forth.
“We searched high and low to find an example of him fluffing a question today and came up with nothing, which is historic.”
Asked to comment on the shocking development, Biden would only respond in writing.
“I’d best not.”
In a related story that nobody saw coming, no big donors abandoned Biden today, though it’s worth noting the day is not over yet.
And in other news, Kamala Harris, was busy picking the remnants of what was left of Joe’s ass out of her teeth. She’d taken a giant bite OUT of the former VP during the last debate, and roasted it over a spit. When asked how she preferred it, the former prosecutor suggested a light grilling, followed by a little sauce. Anyone who wants to buy her a beer should feel free to contact her website.