(Charleston, WV) As the Biden administration seeks to hold the razor-thin Democrat majority in the Senate together to pass a massive infrastructure bill, all eyes are on Joe Manchin who has already demonstrated the power of his position during passage of the recent American Rescue Plan. But the Senator from West Virginia, who now styles himself as Emperor Joseph I of Appalachia, denies he has let the power go to his head, and insists he is merely exercising his political responsibilities as a power broker in an evenly split Senate.
“The power has not certainly not gone to my head underneath this jewel-encrusted crown I had fashioned from the spoils of our finest mines.”
He invited all who seek his political blessing to come and talk it out with him in person.
“To those who desire the favor of the Anointed One of the Mountain State, I say make haste to my entourage’s designated place of waiting whence I will consider granting you an audience.”
He simply asks that people bear in mind that he will be very busy in the coming weeks and to be patient if he doesn’t respond straight away.
“It turns out organizing the most elaborate ceremony elevating a commoner since the Coronation of Napoleon is quite a lot of work.”