Joel Osteen In Shock After Being Fired By Jesus

Image credit: 'Joel Osteen preaching' by RobertMWorsham via Commons license CC BY-SA 4.0.

Joel Osteen is said to be in shock today after being hit with a Cease And Desist order by the Lord Our Saviour, which prevents him from collecting money from the public in the name of Jesus Christ or any of his many pseudonyms.

“You can still collect money in your own personal capacity, but you must make clear donations are solely to enrich Joel Osteen.”

Jesus claims he only became aware Osteen was working for him when he saw a press release for “Jesus: A Life”, a series Osteen created jointly with the History Channel.

“Having reviewed Osteen’s work record, I have concluded he is not the type of person I want in my employ.”

Jesus cited a number of issues with Osteen performance, including financial irregularities, lack of evidence of good works, and damaging the Jesus brand through his actions.

“Fortunately he resides in an ‘at will’ state so terminating him was easy.”

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17 Comments on "Joel Osteen In Shock After Being Fired By Jesus"

  1. I’ve always said why doesn’t he use the Bible? Or say I the name of Jesus… he will reap what he Sows!!

  2. Bonnie reinhart | May 2, 2020 at 1:29 am | Reply

    Judge not lest ye be judged

  3. Laws should change to edit churches and pay taxes because injures Jesus as long as he continues to be a public figure on TV.

    • Bonnie, we are not “judging”. God already issued judgement via the scriptures. If you dont like the guidelines of judgement, you should take that up with God.

  4. Yeah I guess his basic car is a Ferrari 458 Italia. That’s a basic as it gets except for the Rolds Royce he also owns.

  5. Keith Reed Dingus | February 2, 2020 at 9:21 pm | Reply

    God would want him to give all his wealth away right now & him and his family now live a modest life for God, just to show what’s right by God .

  6. Sandra Mcgowan | September 5, 2019 at 4:30 pm | Reply

    It all makes me more sad than mad ! Shame on him and Victoria on the things they do and have done ! Very little good fruit and there will be a rude awaking someday ! I personally don’t listen to him , besides being greedy he difnetily waters down the gospel to suit his donors !

  7. I think like any of us would want the chance to show our side of everything and I think he should publicly show how he got where he is today on his finances and I think he’s living more over the point of being humble of his wealth there’s a lot more of that money that he could be given back himself to places that native yes the church itself and him are having soup kitchens and things like that but there are probably tens of thousands of you young’uns across the US that need help and if you can live in that big of a house I think there’s a lot more you can do than that but I do feel that he has the right to give his side of the story

  8. James Foskey | June 5, 2019 at 8:12 pm | Reply

    This man is nothing more than a crook.

  9. I wish there was a way to like everyone’s comments.

  10. Debbie Burroughs | May 18, 2019 at 7:42 pm | Reply

    When I never heard him preach the gospel or the plan of salvation I had no use for him.

  11. I knew God was going to get him. All you have to do is follow his career and see how his income rose to the point of lavish estates, grandiose vacations, designer wardrobe for his exceptionally rude wife. I really hope he learns from this, humbles himself before the Lord and if he is genuine, he’ll be forgiven.

    • Well…I have my issues with Osteen, but you are not entirely correct about his finances. For most of his early ministry – even when he took over an old football stadium that seated ~18,000 – he lived in the same house he had bought with his wife, drive the same basic car, etc. The money that allowed him to buy his estate, better car, designer clothes, etc. came entirely from book residuals once he became a published author: they had nothing to do with Lakewood Church. And frankly, it’s his right to do with that money what he wishes, and good for him. What you don’t add here is that Lakewood and Osteen donate tens of millions of dollars per year to charity, run the two largest soup kitchens in Houston, and provide funding for one or two homeless shelters. So let’s at least be accurate if we can’t be charitable.

      • ….excuse me! How did he promote the books?

      • Telling the Truth | September 11, 2019 at 11:00 pm | Reply

        That is why he refused to open the doors of Lakewood Church when the people needed place to go during the flooding? He is NOT generous as you are claiming. He is a crook and he takes for personal gain. He does not help the needy.

  12. Use to watch him EVERY week years ago. UNTIL I found out he was a fraud and ALL for money Christian.

  13. Daniel Eaves | March 17, 2019 at 1:19 pm | Reply

    Love the ‘at will’ employment line.

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